As an early interventionist specializing in birth-to-three development, I thought I was prepared for parenthood. I knew the typical patterns. I understood developmental timelines. I believed that when I had my first child, I would know exactly what to do to help her meet every milestone “on time.”
But God had other plans.
When my child wasn’t meeting expected milestones, concern quickly set in. I was doing all the “right” things—the strategies I had learned, studied, and even taught others—yet her development wasn’t unfolding the way I expected. As both a professional and a mother, that reality was difficult to accept.
For years, we spoke with doctors, therapists, and specialists. Eventually, we received a diagnosis and came to understand that my child may always reach milestones later than expected—or differently altogether. Those early years were filled with grief and quiet questions: What did I do wrong?
And yet, they were also filled with joy—moments of celebration for milestones that may have seemed small to others but were monumental for our family. Every step forward, no matter how small, mattered.
Through this journey, I learned resilience and patience. I also had to rethink everything I thought I knew about child development.
The truth is this: all children develop at different rates. Milestones are meant to be guides, not guarantees. They are not the ultimate measure of a child’s worth or potential.
If your child is behind in certain skills, it does not mean you are failing. It does not mean you did something wrong. And it does not mean there is anything “wrong” with your child. God created them exactly as they are—wonderful in His sight.
Yes, things may be harder for them—and for you, too. But watching your child work with determination to learn a new skill, no matter how small it may seem, brings a kind of joy that is unmatched.
So if your child isn’t meeting those so-called “expected” milestones, remember this: milestones do not define your child. Your child will develop skills in their own time and in their own way. Those skills may look different—and that is okay.
Because milestones don’t define who your child is to you.
And if you’re anything like me, you already know your child is wonderful just the way they are.
Mama, you are not alone. If you feel like your child is behind or delayed, reach out for support. Talk with doctors and therapists. Connect with local groups. Advocate for your child—because you know them best, and you are their greatest advocate.
And don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.
